Millennials shouldn’t take dating apps so seriously, says Gen Z

It’s been 10 years since Tinder debuted, and millennials got their first taste of what would become the default way to meet people. While at first the novelty of browsing the profiles of potential lovers was exciting, after a decade most dating app users view the platforms as a necessary evil.

But a quick scroll of #datingadvice on TikTok confirms that Gen Z thinks Millennials can optimize their behavior in dating apps a lot – whether it’s texting too many emojis or looking desperate for a committed relationship in their biography. Among the elite in this category is Niki Patton, the “big sister you didn’t know you needed”, who has amassed 1.7 million subscribers with her advice-focused videos on topics such as meetings, friendships and university life. (Yes, she built that following while wrapping up a double major at Rutgers.)

While chatting with Bustle about dating culture, the 21-year-old New Jersey native says, “I think Gen Z is completely changing the game because we don’t take things seriously. According to Patton, when using apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge, there are notable differences between the way millennials and Gen Z swipe, and, as usual, oldtimers might learn a thing or two. .

Do you and your friends use dating apps to meet people, and why or why not?

Yeah. I think it’s actually a really fun way to meet new people in general, not necessarily people I’m romantically interested in. I recently went to Hawaii with some friends, and we were like, “Let’s go on Tinder and Bumble for fun. “It’s just a game. I know most people [my age] don’t take it too seriously.

So rather than looking for people to date, is it fair to say that you mostly use the apps just to chat?

It’s different for everyone. Some people To do just use it to meet new people. I think during COVID it was such a fun option, especially for students. When you’re in college you want to have a group of friends, you want to meet new people all the time, and with COVID there was such a limit. My friends and I sometimes use them just to meet new people or just to joke around.

What do you think of new Tinder game features like Swipe Night and Vibes?

I think they just encourage us to take things lightly, which is a good thing. I feel like older generations take apps more seriously, but Gen Z is like, “I’m going to use this as a form of entertainment.” Sometimes you meet someone and it’s really exciting. But for the most part, I feel like those features play into this.

If someone used dating apps to meet people, not necessarily for dating or for dating, what do you think they should include (or omit) in their bio?

I think if people are there to look for connections, they’re going to look for connections, and they’re just ruthless about it. When you see someone who doesn’t take prompts so seriously, they respond sarcastically, they put pictures in there that speak more to personality than a thirst trap – that’s when you know, “Oh, that person is on my vibe.” You can put your intentions [explicitly] in there, but I feel like they come out of how you set up your profile.

From your point of view, in general, is it a bit awkward to expect to find a serious relationship on Tinder or the other apps now?

For me personally, I wouldn’t use a dating app [to find a relationship], but I know people my age who have met their longtime boyfriends on dating apps. Yeah, there are people out there who are grumpy, but if you find a gem in a dating app, that’s super rare. It makes him romantic.

Many older people will write something like “I’m looking for something serious” in their biography. Does it cringe when people get super intentional and serious in their bios?

I do not know. I’d be a little surprised if someone was super serious about their biography, personally. I didn’t see much of that in my age group, people were like, ‘I’m looking for love, I take it very seriously.’ So he would definitely stand out. You can make it clear to someone after you start chatting with them that you’re serious and want to get to know them, but I don’t think it’s necessary to put that in your profile.

What do you think are the best online dating routes for people who are interested in a committed relationship rather than dating or friends?

I don’t really think it matters what app you’re on because I’ve heard good things about Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble. Getting to know someone on the internet is difficult, so I don’t think the channel matters. It’s just how you go about it.

What do you think are the best apps for people who are just looking for friends or maybe need to strike up a friendship before dating?

You kind of have to use dating apps if you want to meet new people because there aren’t many other ways to find new people around you in your neighborhood. But, I dunno, when they’re called “dating apps” it sounds like you’re looking for something even though you’re not. And I wish they had more ways to find friends. I know Bumble has Bumble BFFs and things like that, and it’s super helpful, especially for recent grads who’ve moved to a new city. I think more apps should incorporate features like this so you can kind of indicate that you’re not looking for anything romantic.

Do you think Gen Z is taking the lead in changing that?

One hundred percent. All of us, especially after going through COVID, want a connection with other people. I think that’s when we got really bored and were like, ‘Let’s just go on the dating apps’, and you saw people start to make it more of a comedic entertainment than anything else. He should just get to know people, and if there’s a connection with anyone, that’s amazing. But I think there’s too much pressure in the way it’s set up.

What would be the ideal way to meet someone you might be interested in dating?

Gen Z has this whole “romance your life” kind of thing. The cutest way to meet someone is in public, when it’s unexpected. So I think part of the reason dating apps got stigmatized in the first place for me is that it’s unnatural.

What do you think makes someone’s dating profile stand out?

Show your personality, show some funny selfies or something, something that makes it less serious. Make someone laugh. I had to fix my friends’ dating profiles because they’re the nicest guys ever, but all of their photos make them look like tools.

Do you have any other ideas for being less grumpy on dating apps in general?

As soon as you meet someone on a dating app, if you are really interested in them, exit the platform. Talk to them on FaceTime. All of my dating videos, especially during COVID, were about FaceTime dates. With Gen Z, FaceTime dates have gotten so huge now, and they’re so cute. There’s so much you can do if you just get a little creative with meeting people online. Romanticize it!

*This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

About Jimmie P. Ricks

Check Also

Apple App Store fixes dating app issues, says Dutch regulator

The Dutch consumer protection regulator says Apple “changed its unfair terms”, ending a dispute after …