The opinions expressed in these submissions are from anonymous and unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.
Hi hot stuff. I see you around the building and sometimes we smile at each other. You’re out of my league and I’ll probably never have the courage to talk to you let alone ask you out. Even if I asked you out and you said yes, I think you’d probably get bored quickly. So I’m going to settle for the next best thing: your dryer lint. When I can, I take it off the screen and keep it in a bag for later. I contain so much about you, I feel like we are dating. There are bitsys of your cat, your scarves and your hair among other things.
I’ve also built a lot of stuff from your stuffed animals (wish I could post a few here) that bring me a lot of joy. I really appreciate that you use free and clear products because your essence is not tainted with coarseness. Anyway, happy valentine’s day. I’ll be thinking of you as always while I carve something in my bag.
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