If you’re one of those people in happy relationships who give us FOMO by holding hands while walking through the main mall, I’m going to ask you to please stop reading here. You were solely responsible for my therapist’s overtime on Valentine’s Day.
A friend of mine recently said that since then “it’s almost like anti-Cupid is in the air”, and I couldn’t agree more. It seemed like the sun had come out after Valentine’s Day and everyone’s hormones had decided to drop instead.
Cue the week I got a storm of calls from my single friends whose sex and love lives turned out to implode on the same day.
That brings us to this article! Why am I writing it? Because I feel like among all the things that stress students out – readings, midterm exams, vape juice price hikes – finding love and relationships is a big part of it. Ask any UBC Sex Store employee and I almost guarantee they’ve seen the number of vibrators sold triple. Seriously, people are stress.
So it makes sense when my friends – and, ultimately, I – suffer from the seasonless disorder called “not knowing what you’re looking for but also looking for something”. The endless hours spent mindlessly swiping on Tinder, situations, and failed friends with benefits should tell you that.
The idea came to me from my own experience in the dating pool, of course. There is so much about contemporary campus dating culture that I would love to explore. Like, how does it feel to date BIPOC? Are UBC Wellness Center Vibrators Really Worth It? How are you doing long distance?
Recently a girlfriend (let’s call her Anita Dick, for anonymity and because it’s funny) called me while I was at work to let me know the guy she was “sort of” dating (only for sex, okay? We don’t do emotions here. We’re girl bosses.) had ended things with her. For the second time.
I love Anita Dick, but she has a fundamental problem. She is EXACTLY like me. I feel like a lot of singles who ask for advice do it from other people who are too much like them, and all advice is just wishful thinking. It’s well intentioned, but it doesn’t get you very far or last very long (like my ex-boyfriend!).
Those who are in a relationship seem to have it too well, so either we blame them or we hope that one day this fantasy will come true for us too. But until then, the loneliness of celibacy is mitigated only by celibate-celibate solidarity.
So when I found my lonely self approached by a guy at a philanthropic event, it woke me up. I mean, someone mildly attractive heading our way on a hopeless afternoon that slowly goes from bad to worse?
Rest assured, friends, my life is hardly interesting. Instead, as soon as he mentioned being in Greek life, I immediately ruled out the conversation – what’s a girl to do? Tell him that I got fired by one of his people the day before?
Situations like these (and recommendations from well-meaning friends to “join Blind Love UBC”) are what make me well placed to discuss the singles dilemma. If your love life looks like this, maybe some solicited chats might interest you.
Like I said, this is NOT an advice column. I want to point out how unqualified I am in this department (like most 21 year olds, hello!). Instead, I want it to be something you look forward to reading once a week, not just for the tea, but also because sometimes you just need to feel like you’re in good company – and you will be!