Design: Syeda Afrin Tarannum
Design: Syeda Afrin Tarannum
“Thinking of trying online dating? Nope ! »
That’s what most of my friends said about online dating. Honestly, having experimented with these apps on my own for almost two years, this has also become my default answer. Perhaps with an addition of “try Bumble, it’s better”.
For all the latest news, follow the Daily Star’s Google News channel.
However, I think there is more than meets the eye. While I can only speak from my experience as a man, I think dating apps can be a lot of fun under the right circumstances.
If you’re someone who’s in a relationship or currently dating, know that the grass always looks greener on the other side. When I was in a long-term relationship around 2019, the popularity of dating apps skyrocketed.
All my single friends were on one app or another, meeting interesting people, swiping right and left like a video game, meeting 3-4 people every few weeks and overall having a great time . Sometimes I even felt envious of my single friends. It was at the end of the year, when I became single and started registering myself on Tinder, that I finally realized how wrong I was.
Browsing through these apps, while trying to meet even just one person, feels like being on an island of hay, with no needle to find. But, if you do it right, then I believe there are endless positives rather than negatives.
As a guy, dating apps are usually not that difficult. I hate to break things down into such simple concepts, but I think there are three main things men need to have to be successful on these apps, and you don’t even need all three.
You must be a combination of interesting, funny and conventionally attractive. Two out of three is good. If you’re interesting and funny, you can cover everything you lack in terms of physical appearance. Are you what society calls handsome? Well, you can be a little funny to go along with it, and you’re set for success.
The bar is really that low.
However, despite the many positives, these apps can be a harrowing experience if you suffer from self-esteem issues. If validation is what you crave, then this isn’t the place to look for it. You won’t fit into a “type” for too many people, and that’s fine. Not everyone is going to like you, and you won’t like everyone either. As long as it doesn’t come from a place of prejudice, it’s fine.
Finally, the best advice I have for men who are just starting out on dating apps is to temper your expectations.
You are not one moment away from finding the love of your life or your soul mate. Quite often the people you swipe right on won’t come back, but don’t let that demotivate you. As in real life, over time you will find someone you like, who also digs your vibe.
Aaqib Hasib will one day finish writing his book. But not today. Write to him at [email protected]