This week, I packed my bags and headed overseas for my own attempted “Eat, Pray, Love” adventure.
It started around midnight a month ago when I was restless and couldn’t sleep. Life was beginning to look like an endless groundhog.
I met the same guys on the dating apps, having the same boring dates with guys who seemed to lack the “fun” gene, and getting scolded in my direct messages by guys who mostly sent me “hey” messages. Snore.
So, in a slightly reckless move, I jumped out of bed, logged onto a travel site, and booked vacations to New York, London, and Mykonos.
Spent the weekend with girlfriends who packed up for New York years ago and haven’t looked back.
There, something really struck me: New York guys got GAME! And not in a mean, f**k boy way, more in a charming, ‘Hey, why don’t you give it a try’ way.
As I was browsing a store, I saw a very stereotypical guy from New York meet an attractive salesperson and say boldly, “Hey little girl, what are you up to later?” BOLD.
She giggled and they continued to flirt for a good few minutes before exchanging numbers. Yes, maybe I was late.
Can you imagine this happening in Sydney? No, me neither.
As I continued down 8th Avenue, a guy opened the door to Starbucks for me, and later a man struck up a flirtatious conversation with me on the subway. Of course, these are small things, but I was in heaven.
As I was telling the girls about my new found love for New York men over brunch, all three of them agreed that there was really much to say about their bravado.
My three girlfriends had come to New York single, having, like me, given Australian guys a good smack and felt a bit torn by their efforts.
One is now pregnant and engaged to a guy she met in the lobby of her building, another is engaged to a doctor she met on Hinge, and the other is having a ridiculously good time with a few guys. who burn his phone.
So what is it specifically about New York guys that sets them apart?
It’s an easy question to answer: trust. Over the next two days, as I observed these skilled creatures in their natural high-rise habitat, I realized that they seemed to have a certain appeal.
It’s like they all subscribe to the theory that if you ask enough women out, one will eventually say yes. Plus, they actively engaged in conversation, rather than barking at themselves, and eye contact, oh, eye contact!
Ask any woman and she’ll tell you that a man can go from 5 to 10 with the right amount of confidence. Seriously, how many times have you heard a girl say, “I wasn’t really into him, but he just had this sexy confidence.”
So Australian men, may I suggest you take note of your New York brethren and bring some of that confidence to the table. And you know what, in the spirit of equality, I think we women should too!
Go out and flirt properly in nature, and if you feel a little nervous, take a little advice from our companion Aristotle, who had the idea that if a person acted with confidence, he would become confident. i.e.: “fake it until you make it”.
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of boyfriends | @jana_hocking
Originally published as “Australian men are seriously lacking in game compared to American men”